Entitled Karen Mom throws her own 40th birthday, then has an outburst at her husband and kids in front of guests: 'My plans put theirs to shame'

Advertisement
  • 01
    "I asked them if they wanted me to tell everyone who had come to my party what the actual plan was for my birthday"
  • 02
    AITA for planning my own birthday party since I knew my husband and kids wouldn't do a great job. And I was correct. For my 40th birthday party they planned on an ice cream cake and take out pizza with a movie at home.
  • 03
    I try and make sure my husband and two kids get amazing experiences on their special occasions. They do not reciprocate. For my husband's 40th I got him a Nascar experience in Vegas. For my daughter's 16th I saved up all year to get her a MacBook pro. My son is 10 so I can't put much of this on him.
  • 04
    So I planned my own birthday without letting them know. My best friend came over to watch the house and my husband and I got a weekend to ourselves in the city. We saw the Back to the Future musical. We had some amazing meals. When we got home there was a party waiting for me with all our family and friends.
  • 05
    My husband and daughter kept getting complements on doing such a great job planning everything so I could have a special day.
  • 06
    After everyone left my husband and daughter both told me that I embarrassed them by not letting them know what I had planned. I asked them what they had planned for my birthday. They told me. I agreed with them that my plans put theirs to shame. I asked them if they wanted me to tell everyone who had come to my party what the actual plan was for my birthday. They both looked like a deer in headlights. I
  • 07
    said that would be cruel and would draw other people into a petty, private, family drama. I asked them how they thought what they planned for me compared to what I did for them. My daughter opened her mouth and closed it. I said that I understood that they did not like planning stuff. And that I had no problem with it. But that they could have enlisted help from my friends or so longs who do like to plan. I said if it was really an issue I was more than willing to let them plan and execute their
  • 08
    Neither had anything else to say. My husband surprised me today with an apology. He said that I was right and that he had been thoughtless. My daughter is upset with me still for pointing out that she put more effort into planning her bff's birthday than mine. I feel like an I would have been fine letting them take credit.
  • 09
    Socratic_Labrador_02. 19 hr. ago It's fine to plan your birthday if you weren't confident in what your husband would organise on his own. I'm curious, did you tell him what you wanted to do for your birthday? He's not a mind reader and could have been involved in the planning.
  • 10
    However, YTA for guilt tripping your 16 yo daughter. It's not her job to plan an extravagant 40th party for you, and she obviously wouldn't have the financial resources to get you an expensive gift. She's 16.
  • 11
    Honestly, when my daughter turns 16, I'll be super stoked if she wants to celebrate my birthday with an ice cream cake and a family movie night. Count your blessings ✩ 8.8k Reply Share
  • 12
    Angela Moore44 20 hr. ago YTA for guilting your teenage daughter because she didn't plan an extravagant party for you. That's just weird. Parents throw bday parties for their kids, not the other way around. If you had a problem with your husband's plans tell him. Communicate your feelings instead of playing games. Is your husband thoughtless about event planning, yes, but it didn't need to be this elaborate big show to prove some type of point. 3.0k Reply Share
  • 13
    Simple Reception4091. 20 hr. ago ESH, except for your kids. Your daughter should not be on the hook here, she's still a kid. Your husband should do better but you also needed to tell him. It was super petty not to and shows your resentment. Have you all talked about this issue before? 945 Reply Share
  • 14
    growsonwalls 20 hr. ago YTA. I'm sorry, a 16 year old is not going to be able to plan an extravagant birthday celebration with "all your family and friends." Your husband is a different matter. But to shame a teen for not giving you the birthday of your dreams is weird. 608 Reply Share
  • 15
    Quick-Possession-245. 18 hr. ago They DID take credit. Everyone congratulated them. You didn't blow their cover. Good for your husband for apologizing. Your daughter is right to be embarrassed - even if she doesn't apologize, she has learned something. ΝΤΑ 515 > Reply Share
  • 16
    Winter_Dragonfly_452. 18 hr. ago NTA. I have the same problem I plan things for everybody else and nobody ever thinks about me.
  • 17
    My husband did nothing for my 50th birthday. His 50th is coming up this year and he asked me what we were doing for his birthday and I looked at him and said I'm going to put as much effort into planning yours as you did mine. I finally learned I have to stop doing anything for anybody else otherwise I will always be disappointed. 245 Reply Share
  • 18
    badbrother420 - 19 hr. ago YTA This could have all been avoided by having a conversation with your husband about your expectations or just openly planning your own event. You went the most hurtful way about this, and had no holds barred for guilt tripping your daughter. Which is gross. 182 Reply Share
  • 19
    manchot_maldroit. 18 hr. ago Oh I did the same thing for my 30th. And everyone close to me who didn't plan it had an opinion NTA. For my 40th I sat on a beach alone. 122 Reply Share

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article